May 3, 20204 min read

My story of Kindness & Joy - May 2020

My story of Kindness & Joy

I am not ashamed to admit that I am a optimist.

I believe that although we control our own destiny often making things happen by sheer determination. Sometimes we are just given a nudge in the right direction or a chance encounter. Sometimes things simply must happen. And they often happen to me.

From one act of kindness I have found friends who I would never have met in any other way. This fills my heart with joy every day. 

Kindness

Being nicer to the person we see in the mirror every day can be the most difficult act of all.

It is easier to have empathy for a stranger than cutting yourself some slack for eating those chocolate biscuits Wednesday night when the skies were grey and gloomy. 

We can be our own worst critic in every way with low self confidence.

Quote by Maya Angelou 

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

Embrace your dreams

For the past couple of years I have had a irresistible urge to do something very simple. I want to support removing the stigma of mental health.

I believe that if we were all a little bit kinder, a little bit more full of joy things would be better .

I am an old fashioned girl brought up to have manners, respect my elders, to say please and thank you to hold onto I idolisation idea of life being good, hey why not a girl can dream.

Expensing mental health issues, painful health episodes and eventually my breakdown has led me to thinking differently about life. 

Treat people how you want to be treated yourself.

One thing I have learned in life words can mean very different things to different people.  So be aware of your spoken word.

Kindness can be spontaneous or planned and believe a kind gesture should have a positive impact.

I have never thought anything spoken that upsets others is being kind. Sometimes being brutally honest is not the way it’s also about how things are said as well as the words used.

People who believe they can just say what they think are often not thinking about the effect this will have on the other person and therefore not being kind.

The essence of kindness is where it stems from, its intention, positive impact of making something better for someone .

At best the gut instinct inside tells you what to do.

Being negative is a waste of energy.  What I hate is the desire people have to make you feel stupid or wrong from liking something different.

Understanding the other person’s condition is crucial. 

Place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.  It’s like being a mind reader.

That’s why people with lived experiences can understand mental health issues so well. 

I have been fascinated with mind reading and spiritualist for years often afraid to admit or pursue learning though now I do it for myself as a way to share and help others too. 

It’s about having empathy the key being to look at someone, facial expressions or body language and listen. That’s why a gesture of kindness and paying attention to others is key.

My brain is trained to think of so many things at once sometimes I can go through in another direction entirely and like Dory the fish have a 3 second memory.

But my heart is open and intentions are pure. I don’t think I have it all sussed or know the answer to everything. Sometimes I need time to process and think before speaking and that’s how I work in my head.

But you know that’s me and I make no excuses for who I am self acceptance is the key.

That’s my definition of kindness your own may be different and that’s ok.

Joy is a very personal thing and for me changes with age. What you may have roared with laughter and tears as a child seems meaningless in the passage of time.  Although even today joy can be magical and surprise you and witnessing the joy in others is truly wonderful too.

It’s a rush of excitement and pride filled with emotion that can last a millisecond or hours at a time.

An unexplainable part of the brain that accepts the good and rejects the bad transported to a primal place where nothing but magnificent exists.  The feeling of course is different for everyone. 

For me I am filled with hope, optimism, excitement and happiness.

In my life extreme joyful experience when my daughter was born life changing joy being responsible for new life.

My most recent was getting married second time around in 2018 surrounded by family and friends been given away by my daughter and marrying my best friend. 

As you get older it’s the little things I notice more, the sun shining, sounds and sights of nature, sat in the garden, meeting friends for coffee and a chat. 

Joy is a purely personal emotion that can be set off by anything for example fresh coffee aroma in the morning works for me.